"i don't know what it is but i love you,
i don't know what you do but i love you."

I really love the music of i love you by chris brown ft. ester dean :D. Chris Brown used to be one of my most fav singers. But after what he did,
hmmm... but ah well, I still like his music. Especially this song :D. The background music .. wow. To me, it's a cool r&b song. :P

Heh hehh. It's funny.
My mum dreamt that I brought a guy with me, and mum, dad, he and I went out together. LOL. And he's in the NS in singapore. I called him
Winston, but he's definitely NOT my bbs bro. She said she couldn't recognise that guy in her dream. And he's tall, a bit strong, looked a bit like one
guy in my school. I won't say who. HAHA! He does look quite like JJ :D. LOL! Omg. Cuz JJ has the typical singaporean guy look. Aha. So weird ehh.
A TALL + STRONG GUY WITH ME :O. I do like strong guys though ^^ She said we don't look compatible. LOL. Ahahahaha, she's got such a funny
dream. Many of her dreams have come true though. Hmmmmm.. LOL! But I can't imagine me with a tall guy?! I'm too short laa~

Hmmmm.. kayy. Let's be more serious. Hehe.. I've been thinking a lot about my results. Can't help it what. There was a time when I cried myself to
sleep because I kept thinking about how I'm gonna have nowhere to go. Cried, slept, had nightmares. The cycle just went like this every night. It's
lame, I'm lame. Yaaah. I don't have any regrets though. I know I gave my best, even though it wasn't a good effort at all.

Kinda know what to
expect. So I'm preparing for my future. No more silly thoughts. I'm not gonna let those four letters ruin my entire life. Whether or not I get into uni
, I plan to work in an organization. At least, it'd be something meaningful. And I'd be doing what I love. Then, I will try for uni next time. It's not
THE END. I still have a long way to go. So right now I'm searching online, looking around for info on those organizations in singapore. I won't make
use of social work to get into uni, I want to use this as an experience. I know this is what I want to do, but when I really get down to it, how
will it be like?

Hmmm... don't have much new year resolutions. I don't really bother making them. I just have some goals in mind. Like I plan to be more sociable.
I've been keeping to myself too much. I do like talking to people a lot. I enjoy listening to them share their life experiences. I miss so many people
in singapore, but haven't really got down to arranging a date with them. LOL. They're all girls yeah. Ahaha. I miss my sjcian pals the most. Wish
I could relive those times when we stuck around for each other. Hmmmmm... =/ *deep in thoughts*

Well... there are many things that I love about life. Such as being a single lady. :D See I'm not just saying it to feed my pride or to boast about
being independent and all that. So yeahhh, another song that's on my mind is the one that goes "All the single ladies... put your hands up.. whoa
oh oh!" Ahahaha! I don't know why I'm happy being single ... I never used to like it.. maybe it's the freedom? Ahaha. I've just been thinking a lot
about studies, and nothing else. Oh, and I'm also homesick. =( Miss singapore tons.

Miss being antisocial in the library (so much for being more
sociable in the new year), miss taking the mrt to the various shopping malls. Miss eating the most delicious food (really love singapore food!!!).
Miss reading all the newspapers and teenage magazines. Miss walking around the heartlands. Miss the channels. Miss the people and the funny
singaporean accent. :D. I wonder if my accent is still there. Hehehe. I guess so.

One thing that I'm happy about is that I know what I want to do. I just know it. I've always wanted to do something related to sociology. To me,
humanities is just the most exciting field out there. I can't imagine doing something else, like business or design. Of course, my results will make
my choices limited. But I won't let them do that for all time. My main motivation comes from... well I'm not really sure, but I know it's a deep
belief from within, one that I will always hold on to. The more I've fallen, the farther I've come, and the more determined I am to get up.

Because you just never know, right? I know that .. even after I've had these thoughts, I'm gonna have another day when I cry myself to sleep
again..but it'll just be another time when I have to take another step forward. We all have to do that by ourselves, now and then, little by little.
It's not that I'm pessimistic about the results. But after doing those papers, I just know the kind of grades I'll be getting. It's quite obvious.

Hope
that on the day itself, I'll be able to keep that kind of attitude in mind, and not break down. I just wish I could see things from another perspective,
not just a "oh, i'm gonna die..." thing. Oh. And I'm really curious about that aice diploma thingy that mr. randy entered me for. I wonder if I can
even get a merit. I'm the first person in my school eligible for that, not cuz I'm a genius or anything, but because of my strange subject
combination. Lol.... Just so curious. Part of me really is aching to know what I got, the other part doesn't. But it's better to know I guess.

Amo il dio!