Hmmm.. finally decided to update. Still waiting for university application outcome. Ummm.. nothing much. Going back to sg on 7 July. I should be jumping for joy, but I'm feeling so depressed. Cuz of someone. The only problem I have with him is that I'm afraid he'll have a change of heart. Maybe he only liked my looks. He was just quite confident.. asking for my name, then my number, then he sent me some sweet smses. I don't know.. he's really really busy though. At the emergency ward day and night.

Even if I could stay here, I doubt we'd get to go on a date or anything. I only get to see him cuz my dad has to go for dialysis at his workplace. -.-". I really do like him though. He appears to really like me, but I'm not sure. If he can please me so easily, I'm sure he can do that with another girl who probably looks better than me.

Maybe I sound like someone with low self-esteem, but just can't help worrying. I really wanna be with him though. If this relationship doesn't work out, it's his fault. Cuz I'm very loyal and I won't stray or anything.

And lately got these hives. SO UGLY. The darned rashes. Have been taking antibiotics and drinking a lot of water.. Put some lotion for allergies too. Still so itchy and I feel so cold. My face has got some of it too. SO UGLY. I hope I'm not scarred for life. Most importantly, I hope those on my face go away. I am a vain person, I admit.

Hmmmmm... I MISS HIM =(. He's not sending me any msges, either because he's busy or sth.. well that time we talked for some time in the ambulance.. Yeahh.. we can't even talk in a more romantic place or something. It's either the ambulance or hospital =(. Hmmmm.. it was quite unforgettable... sitting with him and just looking into his eyes and ...yaaa.. he always makes me blush. He said he doesn't have enough pulsa or sth..

I'm really curious about what he feels about me. Hmm.. he's been quite confident, and seems to really like me.. but the thing is.. he hasn't really acknowledged me as his girl or anything.. you know? he asked me twice whether i got a boyfriend or not.. hmmm... i can tell that he's quite nervous too.. haha.

Well...... as long as he doesn't tell me that I'm his girl, I'm not gonna assume that we're in a relationship or anything. All I know is that he's in my heart right now. And I really do like him a lot, just wish he'd make it official. Unless he's not serious... =(. Ah well... I'm not gonna see him in a month or soo.. Wonder if he'll wait for me, or maybe I'm just another pretty face, though I'm not really pretty.. but you know what I mean..

Aaargh. This whole post is about him. Hmphh. He's always on my mind though. But what can I do when life keeps making a fool out of me? The only thought that keeps me going on is him. (:

maybe I'm stupid to think he'd wait for me. Who knows how important I am to him? Ah well. So many doubts, so many insecurities. I don't know, don't know, don't know anything anymore.