Okay. What else? I got rejected by NUS too. No NUS and NTU. Why of course. Hmm the only option for me is to be a teacher. Go for IE training. There's no other choice. I am not retaking my A Levels. I really want to work. Though I may not get much pay. Yepp. Sighh. Life is dead depressing. My future is gone, my dreams won't come true. I never wanted to be a teacher, but well, it's the best thing I got right now, my only hope.

These days I've been indulging in comfort food and stuff. So frustrated, at least I wanna cheer myself up. Nothing good ever happens to me.

No education. I've just got my IGCSE and A level cert.

And no love. Seeing my circumstances and stuff... I know I have to eventually let go of him. Though of course, my heart won't let go so easily. I really really love him. But.. yup. I really envy those couples who can eat together, walk together and hold each other.. I can't. We can't be together. My dad will probably take the next few months to recover. I definitely have to be there for my mum and dad. Have to cope with the financial problems.

And I definitely must undergo training. And work at the same time. Hmmmmm.. gonna be real busy. And we won't get to keep in touch cuz he's too busy as well. Sighh.. looks like we won't talk for years or something. But one day Imma spring a surprise on him. I'm planning that. I know I'm gonna tell him not to wait for me, and I'll understand if he gets a new girlfriend. Hmmm. I'm not deserving of his love. But I still want to give him a birthday present someday. 16 march (((: Hope he doesn't change his number -.- ..

As for me, after this thing, I really don't want to think of another guy. I wanna stay single. I don't know if we'll break up or something... but I just don't want to go out with anyone else if I can't be with him. Nobody will understand, I know my parents won't. They'll think I'm silly, and yes I am.

Hmm... so right now gotta check up on some IE training stuff.... Life's depressing, but so what? Just gotta live through it. I can't kill myself or anything cuz I have got some major responsibilities. I'm not a little girl, I have my own perspectives, but that doesn't mean I won't let my heart decide.

Till next time.