Hwaah. Like what's with my blog entries these days right. Hmmm. Life's still complicated, but I usually try not to think about it. There's a time to think of solutions, and there's a time
when you just gotta let go. My mum is getting more and more exhausted.. Hmmm.. I'm just trying to help whenever I can. It's always either she/dad who is yelling about
something.. Sometimes both... Yeaah. It's obvious why they're so worked up. I'm like the third party.. Just like to keep to myself more often these days.. hide in my corner and
hug my knees.. Just don't know what to do. They may be my parents, but I can't interfere.. I've decided to stop being such a crybaby. Like that song.. just have to take things one
step at a time, there's no need to rush. And there's no need to get so tensed and worked up. Even when life constantly tries to pull you down.

Maybe it's easy for me to say.. since I'm not my mum.. she's got tons of responsibilities. It's not like I don't have any, but yeaa.. she definitely has tons more worries. And I'm not my
dad.. suddenly not being able to walk and having to go for dialysis.. My problems are not as heavy as theirs. But my heart is still as heavy as ever. Always having to associate myself
with the word 'loneliness'. What I need.. I can't get it from money or from my parents.. I don't know how to describe it. I think I just really need to hang out with friends.. need to
get busy.

These days, just got so tired of thinking.. Whenever I catch myself starting to worry, I just plug in to some music.. mostly cheery ones. Worrying doesn't help at all. What will be will
be. Like that thing with my guy. If it's really true love, Imma hold on to it. Right now, I'm just not sure. I just get the feeling that he wants to break up with me or something. If
that's the case, I'll just try to get on with my life and not get all drama mama about it. No point treating every sad event in my life like some tragedy. This ain't romeo and juliet,
this ain't one of those fantasies on the big screen, it's reality. You know, I keep wanting to send that msg to ask him if he wants a break up or something.. But I always hit the
delete button.. I don't wanna.. I'm afraid he'll sms back and reply 'yes, i'm so tired of you" .. something like that. I don't wanna talk about break up with him. OMGG. Just wanna be
in love with him. But everything is unpredictable.. you just never know, you know..

So yeahh.. Although my life seriously sux, I'm okayyy, really okay. I promise I won't think of those silly suicidal thoughts already. Need to grow up. I'm not pretending to be some
optimistic girl. Guess I'm not. I admit that I'm in a lot of pain right now. Feel so cold and melancholic. I fully accept who I've become. But it'll be okay. Thank goodness for music
though ((: it's like my hideout or something, my sweeeeeet escape ^^. Cuz I've realised that worrying only makes things worse and more complicated than they already are. I've
not become cold, as in heartless or something. I still care a lot for a few people. Especially my pals in sg, some pals from bbs, my bestie, my mum and my most favourite guy :D.