I wonder why I applied for this job in the first place. The computer systems can be so frustrating sometimes, and this job is rather challenging.
Although it may sound simple, it really isn't. For me, IT is one of the toughest subjects. Perhaps, it's still not as difficult as mechanics. But
still.. aaaaaaaaaargh! So far, I've undergone 4 days of training. The training days are quite long.. from 8.30 am to 6 pm.

But then, I always
make it a habit to arrive extremely early. Cuz I wanna practise more. This job basically involves booking newspaper ads. There's also a
great deal of transaction involved cuz the payment is always made at the counter. Yup.. The good thing about this job is.. I can gain tons of
experience from it.. and well.. the skills are very practical in today's world.. which is undeniably dominated by technology.

The pay ain't good though.. But well.. I'm only an 'a' level student.. And yup.. I'm determined to upgrade my skills and stuff. No matter how
tough it gets.. it's not impossible. That's what I know. The bad thing is.. I'm the youngest and most inexperienced.

I know what people will be
saying behind my back and stuff.. It's like that in this world.. But I wanna prove to myself and everyone else that I can do it. Mmm.. counter
job is really not easy though. It doesn't just involve being familiar with the systems.. Frankly, I'm quite worried about the money part. Ah well.
But like I said, it's not impossible.

Sometimes, I kind of wish that my supervisors never gave me a chance. I think they kind of pitied me or something.. you know.. this helpless
young girl whose parents are unemployed.. yup. I think they must have regretted giving me a chance at this.. I'm so slow, you know. :(. I kept
telling my supervisors about my worries and stuff.. And well there's a justifiable reason for my slow-ness I guess.

The other girls in my training
class.. they've all had working experience before. I'm the only one who has never had any experience. And seriously, that has been a great
disadvantage for me. Coming directly from a schooling environment.. it's just a huge transition. The workplace is just.. aargh. Much more
pressurizing than in school.

And the bad thing about IT is.. everything is hands-on. Unlike written work.. you can always bring it back home and spend nights poring over
the work, memorising and understanding. So yaa.. I guess I'm just not used to interacting so much with the computer. LOL. Hmmm.. but
seriously, I need to stop being such a blur queen and a baby. I really am determined to familiarize myself with these concepts and learn everything
properly.

I may be much slower than the rest, but I'm younger than them, so I have greater room for improvement. Won't bring myself down by
comparing myself with others and stuff. Although it's hard not to do that.. But yaa.. I'm gonna make sure I pull my socks up. Don't wanna
disappoint my supervisors.. they're really nice people. They never looked down on me, and gave me a chance to learn. So yaa... I know it's such a
huge risk that they're taking.. hiring a inexperienced young girl. LOL. Hmphh.

Besides practising all the systems and applications, I'm gonna spend this time familiarising myself with this company.. everything about this company.
Cuz.. well.. if I get involved in a lot of customer transactions in the future, I really can't be some ignorant newbie. For now, I guess it's okayy.. cuz I
just came in a few days ago. But in time to come, being a newbie just ain't a valid reason for every mistake..

Yepp.. so this job is in the marketing division, under the CATS classifieds department. Hmmm.. which explains its complexity. No matter what, I'm not
gonna give up.. Quite excited to be like the counter staff.. they're just so experienced and mature. Ah well.. time will tell.

So anywayyy.. I sent the letter to him yesterday. ((: Hmm.. it's weird that I'm sending him letters every two months.. but yeahh.. I just don't like to be
on 'non-talking' terms with him.. Although I know fully well that I won't get to be with him.. I'll probably spend at least two years in this job.. then I plan
to study.

At first, I know I talked about retaking the a levels and stuff.. but that's definitely impossible right now.. I'm already so tired out from this job..
far too tired to spend time on the profound a levels. But well.. now I realise that the a levels aren't the most difficult stuff to master.. Ahaa.. I really do miss
studying, cuz I'm more of the bookworm and "writer type" of person.. yaa.. the nerdy girl who's buried behind books.. but well.. I'm really keen on gaining
work experience for now.

So yaa.. I'm gonna spend quite a long time in sg.. don't know when I can go to Jakarta.. how many years later.. hmm.. which boyfriend would wait faithfully
for his girl for many years? Hmm. they only happen in the storybooks and movies.. Even couples who have spent many years together can split up because of
the 'distance' issue.. well we only knew each other for three months or so.. :(

And well.. I finally know the true meaning of TGIF (Thank Goodness It's Friday!).. AHA.. Although I'm slow and everything, I quite enjoy the process of
ad booking and stuff.. I like counter work.. the customer service part and everything.. Hmm.. and I guess my best friend these days will always be the computer..
Maybe it's even replaced my boyfriend.

LOL. Spend so many hours with it five days a week. But really need to spend tons of time on this..or I'm not gonna be
able to handle the real environment.. for that one.. any mistake can be costly. Hmm.. last time when I frequently read the newspaper, I just never realised how
much effort went into every publication. This is really an eye-opener for me!

Hmm.. my brain is currently trying to adjust itself to work mode.. I'd been idle for too long, and suddenly I'm fed with so much information in such a short time..
But I'll be okayy.. haha.. i think I'm gonna be an expert in IT if I can pass the probation period! umm yaaa.. PRAY FOR ME! Hopefully, there'll come a time when
I become more alert and aware of all that I'm doing.. Goodness, I've missed my bus stop twice.. :( Two scary recent experiences..

I think I'm one of the most
blur people around, hehh. Don't know why my supervisors seem to trust me so much.. don't know what my boyfriend saw in me.. The way I see it these days..
people around me all seem to be so confident and sure of what they're doing, while I'm this lost girl who's just trying to make her way through the crowds..