Don't know why I've been getting headaches so so often. ?! . Well.. I've always been prone to migraines, but aargh.
So frequently this time. I can't think of any way of alleviating the pain besides eating headache pills.
I don't like the idea of popping pills cuz they're unnatural. But ah well.. NO CHOICE. >.<
I eat 'em one day.. and the pain comes back a few days later.. :(
Ah well.. it's just a minor problem I guess..

Nothing to update about my dad... still no news.
So far, I have applied for three jobs..
Called up BCare Student Care (supervising pri 5 - pri 6.. it's very very near my flat!)
Applied through emailing my resume..: sph customer care assistant and airport service officer
Hmm.. I don't like to believe in luck and all that.. but seriously, it seems like I have this fate of getting rejected..
GAAH. But I won't stop trying. I'm sure that I'll be accepted somewhere.. Really need the income.. =/
In addition can gain some experience and learn new stuff at the workplace.

Yesterday was significant. Finally met up with shimin, constance and grace!!!
HAHA. We met at amk, they drank some koi bubble tea.. I didn't eat or drink anything at that time.
I was the first to reach there, and also the first to go home. LOL. Pangseh-ed (abandoned) them for the first meeting.
My oh my. But well.. it was cool. Had a good time, laughing and chatting..
I was quite surprised.. cuz I could actually find words to say..

LOL.. I thought that I'd become super duper antisocial and weird after keeping to myself for so long.
But I felt really comfortable and just so at ease, I could say almost anything.
Maybe cuz they're my closest friends.. but I think that I can open up to most people!
Except one person. HIM. My heart was always beating frantically that time.. so I was always at a loss for words.
IT'S ALL HIS FAULT FOR MAKING MY HEART WORK SO HARD. Hmphh. Bad guy. He's always bad to me.

But I'm still gonna send him a letter. Can't wait until his birthday.. too long ! Shall send him a letter every two months.
A postcard would be more presentable, but there's too little space for me to express my feelings :P.
So the first letter will be in september. Kinda old-fashioned ehh.. sending letters -.-..
But he's too busy to check his email, a call would be disruptive and I don't really wanna sms..
And letters are always more sincere and sweeter!
Do unto others what you would like them to do unto you!
Haha.. To me, receiving a letter would seriously melt my heart and make a tear roll down my face.

Still planning to meet up with friends!!! I really miss jolene ng a lot, but she's too busy :(. Blehhh. She needs more rest..
Miss lisais too, but she's not in singapore. Hmm.. hmmmm.. mostly wondering about wei xin and yan han..

Tomorrow will be even more significant! Going to church for the first time in three years. Whoa.
Definitely stick to st. anne's church in sengkang, the church I've been going to ever since my sjcian days..
Hmm.. my cousin (he died from a motorcycle accident) .. his ashes are there.
My mum asked me to check if any other family member is there.. WAH. TOUCH WOOD!!!
It's creepy.. really creepy. I only stepped into that place once.. and I really don't wanna go there again.
Just wanna go to the church service with living people.

I do have an ulterior motive for going to church.. got some prayers I wanna present to God..
To me, religion is something very personal. I don't like rituals and stuff.. but ah well.
I like church cuz we can worship God through songs !
And I don't really like to hear preaching, so that's why I don't preach about my religion..
To me, religion is more impactful if you're touched by it through personal experience, not through preaching.
But well.. church is just a whole new experience. Can't wait. (:
Although I often feel as if God has abandoned me.. I'm always praying to him, and thinking of the crucifixion.
Hmm.. I like modern music, modern clothes, most things modern.. but not modern churches. Hahh. interesting ehh.

Yaaa.. that's all then. I won't stop trying. Migraines, rejection and loneliness won't stop mel.
I may be weak, as in I cry very easily.. I've cried myself to sleep many times..
I'm quite emotional and easily touchy.. often rather sensitive and easily hurt by people too.
But I have a fighting spirit beneath the fragile layers inside of me.
God's ways are too mysterious and I've been much of a sinner.
But I have faith in his healing power, I'm sure that the bad times won't last long.
I have a long road ahead of me, and it'll surely be paved with fresh opportunies and experiences!